[the-soul-of-demon-fox]

Тем временем в Камелоте.
Спойлеры, 5 сезон, гиф

Последняя вышедшая серия повергла меня в долгое раздумье и легкое отчаяние.
Сижу и думаю, что же за чертовщина.



Merlin S05E05: Magic-Reveal Bating

Merlin: What will you do? (As he sits down accross from Arthur on his bedroll)
Arthur: I don't know... My heart says do anything to save Mordred but I've seen what misery sorcery brings. Before my father outlawed magic.... Camelot was almost distroyed by sorcery. In my own time, Morgana's used it for nothing but evil... (looks imploringly over at Merlin) What would you do?
Merlin: (looks over at Arthur with wide eyes)
Arthur: In my place?
Merlin: (avoiding Arthur's gaze) Me? I'm just a lackey; maker of beds.
Arthur: (looking up at Merlin) Lackeys can be wise.
Merlin: (eyes flick between Arthur and the ground)
Arthur: (stares at Merlin imploring him to speak his mind) It's not like you to /be/ silent.
Merlin: (resolutely avoids Arthur's eyes) Kingdom's futures at stake...
Arthur: And a man's life (continues to stare accross the fire over at Merlin though now in confusion. Merlin normally would be saying that magic to save someones life is alright - he'd said it many times before this. Why not now?)
Merlin: (continues to avoid Arthur's gaze - will not look him in the eye in case he sees the truth there...) You must protect Camelot. You must protect the world you spent your life building; A just and fair kingdom for all.
Arthur: (thinks about what Merlin just said for a moment) You'd have me sacrifice a friend? (disbelief - face falls)
Merlin: (obviously struggling not to just shout out 'Take the offer - let magic back into the kingdom! But Mordred is destined to kill you, Arthur!') I /would/ have you become the king you're destined to be... (a.k.a. totally avoid answering the question and does not explain why)
Arthur: (leans forward and tries to make eye-contact with Merlin but Merlin is resolutely avoiding his eyes) If I do save Mordred, all my father's work will be for nothing. Sorcery will reign once more in Camelot. Is that what you'd want?
Merlin: (inner Merlin: 'Yes! Oh my Gods, Arthur, Yes! I wouldn't have to hide who I am anymore! I could share magic with you and I could teach you...' while visibly looking torn - like he's trying not to cry and just blurt out what he's wanted to tell Arthur for a long while: 'I'm magic and I'm not evil. All I've ever used my magic for was to protect you...')
Arthur: (still watching Merlin and probably sees the teary eyes) Perhaps my father was wrong. Perhaps the old ways aren't as evil as we thought.
Merlin: (eyes watery and tears about to fall - this is what he's wanted to hear for years... /years/ that just because he has magic doesn't make him evil. bites lip and looks up at Arthur slightly hopeful but still visibly struggling - Save Mordred; Arthur's destined killer and Magic will be returned to Camelot which has been Merlin's dream from the start or let Mordred die and no magic...)
Arthur: So what should we do? (stares over at Merlin asking/ begging for advice from a friend - If he hasn't noticed the teary eyes by now then he is a moron) Accept Magic....?
Merlin: (a small tear escapes his right eye and falls onto his eyelashes - looks like he's about to either start sobbing or silently crying and probably is inside at the injustice of this choice and what he's about to tell Arthur)
Arthur: Or let Mordred die...?
Merlin: (blinks back his tears and leans forward while avoiding Arthur's eyes)
Arthur: (stares at Merlin across the fire in concern/ confusion/ hope for advice from a true friend)
Merlin: (eyes still wet with unshed tears - swallows visibly as he gathers his courage to say what he has to say to protect Arthur even if it distroys any chance of happiness for him) There can be no place for magic in Camelot.

My heart broke for Merlin at this moment. To save Arthur not only does he have to let Mordred die but he also has to give up on ever having Magic returned to Camelot. He has to give up his own happiness to do what he believes will save Arthur's life.

И в конце концов такой нокаут. Меня рвет просто, рарр.
Об этом надо поговорить.

Фак зис щит.